Retirement is deadly.
Centuries-old vampires who play pickleball. Aging werewolves who surf naked beneath the full moon. To survive, they must keep their identities secret, but all the dead humans popping up may spell their doom. Can Missy Mindle, midlife amateur witch save them?
A serial killer—human or supernatural—has been depositing bodies drained of blood near Squid Tower in Jellyfish Beach, Florida. If the police discover these beachfront condos are filled with retired vampires, the residents will be staked on sight. Missy, widowed and starting over as a home-health nurse for elderly supernaturals, has to play detective with a little help from her magick. She and a cute local reporter try to prove that the murderer doesn’t live at Squid Tower—and not get themselves killed in the process.
Snowbirds of Prey kicks off Freaky Florida, a clean, humorous fantasy series filled with magic, monsters, and mystery; sarcasm and satire; and, of course, Florida Man. If you love the thrills of urban fantasy, the wit of cozy witch mysteries and paranormal women’s fiction, and a big splash of comedy, this series is for you. Grab this book and enjoy a vacation in Jellyfish Beach today.
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Gators. Pythons. Iguanas.
Why not? It’s Florida.
Missy, midlife amateur witch and nurse to elderly supernaturals, has two problems. First, she found a young, injured dragon in the Everglades with a price on its head. Second, her vampire patient Schwartz has disappeared after getting caught by Customs with werewolf blood. (It’s like Viagra for vampires. Don’t ask.)
There are many bizarre creatures in the Everglades, native and non-native, but who knew dragons were among them? And this isn’t just any young dragon. This is a dragon prophesied to restore its species to greatness. That’s why an evil, ancient god wants to destroy it, and an almost-as-evil CEO tries to capture it. Missy has to protect the dragon while it heals (and snacks on the iguanas in her neighborhood). Too bad she also has to locate and rescue Schwartz before he gets staked. Her best weapon is her not-always-dependable magick. And she is learning that she inherited much more power from the parents she never knew than she had realized.
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Embrace your destiny. Even if it kills you.
After a failed marriage and burnout from her hospital nursing career, Missy Mindle has started over in midlife. She’s now a home-health nurse to elderly vampires and werewolves in Florida. And she’s also improving her craft as a witch.
But suddenly she has two mysteries to solve. First, who is making a series of dangerous magick attacks against her that appear to be tests of her growing witchy abilities? And who is stealing corpses from funeral homes in Jellyfish Beach? When an embalmer is murdered, one of Missy’s patients, a werewolf, is arrested. Can she exonerate him?
She gets plenty of unsolicited advice from a 400-year-old ghost. And also from the Fates. The three ancient Greek goddesses happen to live in a trailer park nearby. They know whether she’ll survive or not, but that’s the one thing they’re not saying.
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They’re coming for you
Can you really blame garden gnomes for having a grudge? They’re displayed as kitschy jokes, wounded by weed whackers, peed on by dogs. After midlife witch Missy Mindle seriously bungles a spell, gnomes throughout Jellyfish Beach, Florida, are becoming possessed by an evil force and are exacting retribution. Missy has to undo the fast-spreading spell and stop the surge of “accidental” human deaths. The problem is, her regular job is home-health nurse for elderly supernaturals, and she also has to help solve the murder of one of her werewolf patients. Like the gnomes, the werewolves are out for revenge.
And something is coming for her, too.
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A vampire tale even a caveman would love.
The retired vampires at Squid Tower in Jellyfish Beach, Florida, have it good. Until some ancient vampires show up. These strange bloodsuckers can turn into bats, unlike modern vampires. And they’re also a bunch of Neanderthals. No, really. Not all Neanderthals went extinct. Some went undead. And now they want to rule all the vampires of Florida.
Missy Mindle, midlife witch and nurse to elderly supernaturals, uses her magick to help her vampire patients fight back. But when the Neanderthals start taking vampire hostages, and kidnap the daughter of Missy’s cousin, get ready for a conflict of prehistoric proportions.
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Midlife manatee insanity.
Who’s behind the plot to kill off Florida’s sea cows? While midlife witch Missy Mindle tries to solve this mystery, she must nurse a rescued manatee back to health. The problem is, he’s actually a human shifter, Seymour, who wants to celebrate manatee mating season with her.
Missy and her reporter friend Matt face corporate villains and team up with the ruthless Mothers4Manatees. Throw in a vengeful vampire who wants to kill her, and Missy’s magick is pushed to the limit. Meanwhile, she discovers what life would have been like if she hadn’t divorced years ago: living with a flabby, middle-aged guy who leaves the toilet seat up.
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Are lizards the wizards of doom?
Midlife witch Missy Mindle is busy enough as a home health nurse for elderly vampires and werewolves in Jellyfish Beach, Florida. But now she needs to solve a murder, too. Who or what killed Marvin Nutley, her vampire patient found incinerated on his oceanfront balcony?
Marvin believed in the Reptilian Conspiracy: that Lizard People are taking over the planet. He claimed to have a video showing a human turning into a dragon. He also claimed he shot said dragon. And now there’s the threat of all-out war between vampires and dragons, and between humans and every reptile with teeth. To prevent it, Missy needs to find out if Marvin was killed by cold-blooded reptiles or a hot-headed vampire.
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© 2021 by Ward Parker.