Retirement is deadly.
Centuries-old vampires who play pickleball. Aging werewolves who surf naked beneath the full moon. You’ll find all sorts of supernatural creatures in Florida (except elves. They prefer to retire in Arizona). Since they can’t just show up at the doctor’s office, the monsters in Jellyfish Beach get their medical care from home-health nurse and not-so-competent witch Missy Mindle.
Their survival depends on keeping their supernatural identities secret, but a serial killer has been depositing bodies drained of blood near Squid Tower where the vampires live. If the police discover the beachfront condos are filled with vampires, the residents will be staked on sight. Can Missy, along with a cute local reporter and the geeky gate guard on the graveyard shift, prove that the killer doesn’t live at Squid Tower without getting themselves killed in the process?
Snowbirds of Prey kicks off Freaky Florida, a humorous contemporary fantasy series filled with magic, monsters, and mystery; sarcasm and satire; and, of course, Florida Man. If you love cozy witch mysteries, the thrills of urban fantasy, and a splash of comedy, this series is for you. Think of it as an unholy blend of Amanda M. Lee, Kim Harrison, Jim Butcher, Shayne Silvers, Christopher Moore, and, of course, Carl Hiaasen. Grab this book and enjoy a vacation in Jellyfish Beach today.
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Gators. Pythons. Iguanas.
Why not? It’s Florida.
Missy, nurse to elderly supernaturals and budding witch, has two big problems. First, she found a young, injured dragon in the Everglades that has a price on its head. Second, her vampire patient Schwartz has disappeared after getting caught by Customs with werewolf blood. (It’s like Viagra for vampires. Don’t ask.)
There are many bizarre creatures in the Everglades, native and non-native, but who knew dragons were among them? And this isn’t just any young dragon. This is a dragon prophesied to restore its species to greatness. That’s why an evil, ancient god wants to destroy it, and an almost-as-evil CEO tries to capture it. Missy has to protect the dragon while it heals (and snacks on the iguanas in her neighborhood). Too bad she also has to locate and rescue Schwartz before he gets staked. Her best weapon is her not-always-dependable magick. But she is learning that she inherited much more power than she had realized.
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Embrace your destiny. Even if it kills you.
Missy, nurse to elderly supernaturals, has a passion for witchcraft. And she has two mysteries to solve. First, who is making a series of escalating magick attacks against her that appear to be tests of her growing witchy abilities? If she fails the tests, she dies. If she passes, does that mean she was destined to become a powerful witch?
At the same time, she tries to help cute reporter Matt solve the mystery of who is stealing corpses from funeral homes in Jellyfish Beach, Florida. The embalmer who was about to spill the beans is murdered. And the condition of his corpse suggests a wolf was responsible. There are no wolves in Jellyfish Beach. But Missy knows there are werewolves. In fact, some of them are her patients.
Missy’s late parents, whom she never knew, were rumored to have been witches. She wishes she had their guidance. But she does have plenty of unsolicited advice from the Fates. The three ancient Greek goddesses happen to live in a trailer park nearby. They know whether she’ll survive or not, but that’s the one thing they’re not saying.
© 2020 by Ward Parker.